... Give those with whom you find yourself
every consideration."
Sen no Rikyu
Showing sincere friendliness, generosity, and consideration for all who
enter our world is the hospitality of tea. The word "hospitality" derives
from the same root word as "hospital," originally a place of shelter and
rest for travelers. Whether we offer tea to a weary traveler or invite a
guest to a fancy tea party, the act of opening our hearts and homes to
another touches the essence of our humanness. The sharing of tea provides
nourishment, creates comfort, and puts all at ease.
Lao Tse
The custom of serving tea to our guests is nearly as old as recorded
history, a vital part of the tradition of sharing who we are. The earliest
reference to tea offered by a host to an honored guest comes to us from the
Taoists of China. Around 500 BC, during the Chou Dynasty in China,
corruption and folly were bringing about the collapse of the kingdom.
According to legend, there lived at this time Lao Tse, a man not only of
high rank, but of great wisdom, a true sage. Having no wish to witness the
decline of civilization, Lao Tse decided to take his leave from the peopled
world. He intended to go to the mountains and live out his days there as a
hermit. Heading west, he traveled through the Han Pass, where a gatekeeper
named Yin Hsi resided. Legend recounts that Yin Hsi, a sage in his own
right, had been waiting for many years in his grass hut at the pass,
anticipating that one day an Immortal such as Lao Tse would come this way.
In order to entice the master to tarry long enough to share his wisdom, the
gatekeeper ceremoniously served Lao Tse a cup of tea. Thus, the well-loved
and highly revered Taoist the Tao-te-Ching, also known as "The Way of Life,"
was born, transmitted over a cup (or two) of tea. This was the auspicious
birth of tea's role in hospitality.
Hospitality Is Connecting with Others
When we gather together with others in the making and serving of tea,
something essential happens. Our thoughts gravitate toward our guests'
welfare: What do they need? What mood and ambience will bring them
satisfaction and happiness? What tea will be most pleasing? How can I help
them be most at ease?
In this process we can feel united to others, connected through the time
shared over tea. In the company of our guests, we learn all that we hold in
common, and we may experience a deep empathy for all of life. Through
hospitality, it's possible to know the wisdom in the old saying "It is
better to give than to receive."
Opening the Heart
Around the world from ancient to modern times, the way tea is served to
others has demonstrated the spirit of hospitality. Although it would be
lovely to write about all the tea traditions in the world, our discussion
will be limited to the few that have especially touched our hearts and
minds.
The practice of sharing tea with others is the essence of the Japanese tea
ceremony, chanoyu. The ceremony is an enactment of "right relationship" to
another in a social setting. In the role of the host or hostess, we learn a
way of being that celebrates care, precision, and regard toward the
well-being of others, the particular situation, and the environment. We
bring mindful attention to every person, place, and thing we encounter. As
we consider another's needs, our attitude shifts from self to other. As we
whisk the tea and present the bowl, our body follows suit, and the
peacefulness of serving tea to others infuses our being.
Sen Soshitsu, fifteenth Grand Master of the Urasenke School of Tea, knew
that it was "the free and magnanimous heart that counts" in the serving and
drinking of tea. It is this caring and considerate, yet tempered and
moderated way of being that constitutes the demeanor of the host or hostess
at a tea gathering. We serve others without servicing; we offer, without
artifice; and we regulate, without controlling.
Consider this lesson in tea etiquette: once a grower invited Sen no Rikyu,
the founder of the Japanese Way of Tea, to have tea. He was overjoyed at
Rikyu's acceptance, and when Rikyu came for tea, the grower led him into the
tearoom and served Rikyu tea himself. However, in his excitement, his hand
trembled, he dropped the tea scoop, and he knocked the tea whisk over. The
other guests, students of Rikyu, snickered at the tea grower's performance,
but Rikyu said, "It was the finest."
On the way home, one of the students asked Rikyu, "Why were you so impressed
by such a shameful performance?" Rikyu replied, "This man did not invite me
with the idea of showing off his skill. He simply wanted to serve me tea
with his whole heart. He devoted himself to completely making a bowl of tea
for me, not worrying about errors. I was struck by that sincerity."
